Lost!

We were in a hurry that day. It was raining hard outside Harvey Nicks and I just managed to hail a cab, got everyone in and pushed the pram in. It was not until much later when the little one asked "Where's Tigger?" did we realised that Tigger was lost.

Tigger had been with us since the little one was about 1+. Besides being a toy, he was an occasionable bed companion, been with us for a few trips and took over many disguises when she is playing. I never thought she is very much attached to him ~ she never really insisted to have Tigger for bedtime nor requested to have him specially. How wrong was I!

When she realised Tigger was lost, the waterworks started. I think it is coupled with being so tired after rushing around the whole day and the horrible thoughts of Tigger being LOST and ALONE. She cried and cried and no amount of cajoling, kisses and cuddles can abate her tears. It was heart-rending hearing her say "Tigger really misses me. Tigger is all alone. I miss Tigger"

Went to the place we stopped the cab to look around, called the cab company in the off-chance it might be there and even resort to half fib by telling that Tigger is looking after another little girl with no toys. No, it didn't work.

We went home and the little one insisted that we make a "Lost" poster. I never knew so many details of Tigger were in her head. Here is the poster, which we hung outside our front door :

the curly tail, the stripes, the little tuft of black at the end of the tail. Even Tigger's funny ears. It's all there. She carefully wrote her name and burst into tears again. In a broken voice, she whispered she wants to kiss Tigger so that's why there is a lipstick mark just there.

We went to the Disney store the next day and yes, I got her another Tigger. It is a little bigger than the old one and I said since she is a big girl, she needed a bigger Tigger. She was pleased with the new one and the Cinderella cushion that I bought as well but until now, if she is feeling a little sad, she would crawled onto my lap and whisper "I miss my old Tigger..."

I'm still alive....

....except I am totally consumed with my Malay blog. It's like greeting a long lost lover - my love affair with Bahasa Melayu. From crooning old Malay songs to watching old Malay movies, I'm doing them all now.

What an irony! I was so entwined with my Malay culture when I was growing up - taking part in endless cultural activity after another - be it traditional malay dance, dikir barat, Malay debate. Straight into hostel at Uni, I was the only Malay girl in the whole place. I hardly listen to Malay radio, Malay tv programmes bore me and I just noticed how thin and insubstantial Berita Harian looks besides the other national papers. Malay films of that era with all their slapstick and low production values grated my nerves. Imagine this ~ a scene in one of the Malay programmes.. one doctor telling his patient's husband "Isteri awak mendapat tonsilitis - Barah tekak" (Your wife has got tonsilities i.e. throat cancer).

I got sick of the misconception some have of Malays and I was sick of some of the world views held by some Malays. In other words, I became alienated. Don't get me wrong ~ it's not like I am ashamed of being Malay. It's just become a minor part of me. And when I started my travels here to London, it became dormant. Other than speaking Malay and craving malay food, I speak and breathe English.

It was not a big thing - just two of my old friends encouraging me to write in Malay. A tiny spark that rekindled my love in my heritage. It spawned my malay blog and for quite a while, I'm totally obsessed; seeking malay songs on youtube, finding out who is Mawi, caring about siti nurhaliza's wedding and finally in a long long while, I decided to foray to the wilderness and bought two new Malay films . One was not bad at all and the other was totally enjoyable.

So forgive me, my dear sriperwira blog. It is not that I have forgotten you. :)